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Thirties and Friendship


For most of our lives, it’s so effortless to make friends. Our parents set up playdates. We have pre-school, elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. It’s even easier if you join extracurriculars. You find yourself with a built-in set of friends that you don’t even have to worry about.

I’m an extrovert and I was always in extracurriculars, so I always found it easy to make friends. In high school, I was in so many clubs, it was insane. Sure, I had my own clique, but I was kind of acquaintances with everybody in my grade. I found everybody to be nice to me. But my clique was close-knit and I just knew we’d be best friends forever. And we were, up until the point that we got involved with college. The only exception was my best friend from first grade, who is still my best friend to this day.

I continued the extracurriculars in college, plus added work, which gave me even more friends. But my sorority gave me the strongest friendships. I hate to be cheesy, but sharing that ritual and tradition with my sisters meant the world to me, and made me even closer to them. I lived in the house for two years, was on the executive board for two years, and was nominated for Homecoming Queen. Needless to say, my sorority was my life, though I participated in other extracurriculars. And I just knew we’d be best friends forever. Unfortunately, people move across the country and it’s not so easy to keep long-distance relationships. I’m still close to a few girls I can consider close friends, but with their busy lives and time differences, things get challenging.

So how do you make friends in your thirties? That’s a damn good question. Unfortunately, our parents can’t just set us up on playdates anymore.

I’m trying Bumble BFF. It’s on the regular Bumble app — you just have to change the mode from dating to BFF. It worked for me once. I met a great girl on there who I get along with wonderfully. Unfortunately, she’s an introvert, and I’m not sure how interested she is in keeping the friendship going. But I’m going to try to make it work anyways.

And I’m going to keep trying on the app, because there are so many cool girls on it. (Honestly, they all seem way cooler than me, so I’d be lucky if any of them would want to hang out with me…) In fact, I had two matches today that I need to get back to. Of course, just like a dating app, I won’t be compatible with everybody, but it’s worth a try, right?

I think the app is a great idea. There are a good amount of people my age, some of whom have just moved to my city, who are searching for friends. Plus, so many people have dealt with what I have — their friends have moved away. It’s not like we were supremely awful and our friends all ditched us. Life just happened. So I highly recommend the app to anybody who is going through this. (It doesn’t just apply to thirty-somethings, either. I’ve seen twenty-somethings and forty-somethings on there.)

Making new friends is scary even for an extrovert like me. So cross your fingers, wish me luck, and wish upon a star. I’m tired of being lonely and not having girlfriends. I’m ready to change my life for the better.

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