Living With My Parents… In My Thirties

I actually do have a lot going for me as a 34-year-old that others would be jealous of. I’m debt-free, I have a great credit score, I have no student loans, and I own my own house (which is paid off) a mile away from my childhood home in a nice neighborhood. It’s small, but it’s enough for me, and I love it. I built it as a fixer-upper when I was 24 and we basically gutted it, so I moved into what was pretty much a new and lovely house built just how I wanted when I was 26. It even had my one request — a pink shoe closet that I recently acquired a small (and cheap) chandelier for. (My — over 100 — shoes deserve only the very best!)

However, I’m currently living with my parents, and I have for a while WAY too long. I found myself in an abusive relationship that ended in 2018 when I was 32. He completely trashed my house, but even if he hadn’t, my PTSD was so bad that I wouldn’t have been able to live there at that time. I still have problems going there, to be honest. So I’ve been living here for two-and-a-half years. There are parts living here that haven’t been so bad. My parents are two of my best friends, so I’ve enjoyed spending time with them. However, they’re still my parents. And while they’ve kept me great company during COVID, it’s time to move back into my house.

So it’s time to get that trashed house in order. I honestly didn’t know a person could trash a house so badly. I didn’t know it was possible. It’s like he played a game: what is the worst I can do to this house before I move out? Break the air-conditioning? Check. Ruin every room? Check. Break the dishwasher? Check. Somehow make tons of dents on the refrigerator in a way I’ve never figured out how? Check. Break the drawers inside the refrigerator? Check. I’ve procrastinated on getting back in there — I may despise cleaning more than anybody on this earth — but I’m dating now.

There’s nothing less sexy than inviting your date back to your parents’ house to watch Netflix (but really have a makeout session). Besides, I know my dad. He would find a reason to come in the room even though he never comes in my room. Ahhh, just like the good old days of high school twenty years ago…

I guess within the next few months, I’ll be getting my house back into order, so I can cuddle while watching addictive television shows and have makeout sessions. It’s nice to have somebody cook for you and clean the majority of the house, but if I had to give it a grade, living with your parents in your thirties when you’re dating, even if they’re as wonderful as mine, gets a big ‘ol F.

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